Something special happened on the 9th day of December 2017. The right to marry in Australia was no longer determined by sex or gender.
It was a momentous occasion which I watched from abroad with so much pride and relief that my homeland was moving equality forward and that Australians voted in favour of marriage equality.
Why am I writing about this? Well, as a happily married cisgender woman who works as civil marriage celebrant I hear, see and have to address a lot of things that 7 years down the track following the update to the Marriage Act can be frankly disappointing, often frustrating and sometimes heartbreaking. (And I write that with only a tiny fragment of understanding of the lived daily experience of the Rainbow Community.)
So, to answer some common questions that arise from marriage enquiries and the official paperwork:
Will I officiate a marriage for a LGBTQ+ couple?
Absolutely! My job is to enable consenting couples to marry in the way that it is true to them as a couple. It is a job I love. If you are after a relaxed, heartfelt ceremony that reflects you as a couple give me a call - that is what I do.
Side note: If you or you know of couples who have had a celebrant refuse to marry them due to their gender identity or sexual orientation please report it to the Attorney Generals Office. All registered celebrants are listed on the Commonwealth Celebrant Register, what we do and how we work is guided by a code of practice which includes avoiding unlawful discrimination in the provision of marriage services. It still happens and it shouldn't, so please continue to report it.
What were the updates to the Marriage Act?
There were, and continue to be, updates to the Marriage Act since the equality vote. Some of the most common ones which people ask about are as follows:
How each person would like to be identified. There are only three options but you can be either of the following - Groom, Bride, Partner. It is entirely your choice.
Identification of gender is optional, and now includes Non-Binary. The big thing here is it is OPTIONAL so it is up to each person as to whether they choose to identify a gender on the paperwork.
The legal vows now include options for how you refer to each other as a married couple - wife, husband, partner, spouse. Again, you choose the term that is comfortable for you as a couple.
The Act now defines marriage as 'the union of 2 people to the exclusion of all others, voluntarily entered into for life'.
Most recently there has been an update to how the Notice of Intended Marriage can be witnessed for couples. Now couples have the option of remote witnessing if they are in Australia, and the easiest way to do this is with a registered celebrant. In addition to this, if they are outside of Australia they can now have their signatures witnessed remotely by an Australian Consulate Official or Notary Public. Specifically this means that they can access the same flexibility of remote witnessing services and also choose their witness. Why is that important? Well, there are still a lot of countries where same sex relationships are against the law which can make finding a safe authorised witness difficult. Now couples can access remote witnessing services from authorised witnesses outside of their home country. This means increased safety, preservation of privacy and flexibility.
What else do we need to know about your Celebrant Services as an Ally?
I am here to help. It is my job to create a ceremony that feels and sounds like you want it to. I provide an overview on the legal requirements (these are the non-negotiable things we need for your marriage to be legally binding), and from there we work together on creating your bespoke, heartfelt ceremony.
After over 20 years in the corporate world I have a number of skills that I regularly lean into as a celebrant including, being an excellent listener, a creative problem solver and a calm, creative thinker. Also, I will always ask what your preferred pronouns are when we meet for the first time.
Finally, I am a perfectly imperfect person committed to continued learning and finding effective ways to address ignorance or bigotry as I hear/see/encounter it. I am here to celebrate your love! It is an absolute privilege I don't take for granted. #loveislove #marriageequality
Finally, a little personal note to anyone looking to work with me in the future. I ask everyone the same questions. Some are legal requirements, others are to clarify personal preferences so I can ensure I communicate with you in a way that makes you comfortable, heard and safe.
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