Ideas To Create a Calm Wedding for Neurodivergent Couples

Sacha Clark
Oct 13
3 min read

For many neurodivergent couples, the traditional structure of weddings can feel overwhelming. Weddings can often feel too loud, too crowded, too rigid. As an inclusive celebrant I believe my role is to create a calm, safe space where you can be fully present, enjoy the moment, and celebrate your love in a way that feels right, and is comfortable for the two of you. Here are some of the ways I do this...

Calm Wedding Packages With Minimal Decisions

For couples who prefer to keep things beautifully simple, I offer elopements in partnership with trusted vendors to minimise the number of decisions and interactions you have to have. My elopement packages include 2 hours of photography (100 finished digital images), plus I offer packages with fresh flowers, an arbour and even hair and make-up. These packages are designed for up to 50 guests, but we can keep things simple and pure with just the two of you, myself, and two witnesses. If you’d like it to remain just the two of you, I can even provide witnesses so there’s no pressure to involve anyone else. This option creates a deeply private, low-stress way to marry without any distractions.

Setting the Scene Before You Arrive

Before you arrive, and before your guest's arrival time, I complete all my sound checks to ensure the volume is set at a comfortable level. This avoids any sudden noise or feedback that might feel jarring. I also test music transitions, microphone sensitivity, and positioning so everything flows smoothly, quietly, and with ease.

Flexible Ceremony Flow

Every couple deserves a ceremony that feels like theirs, so I provide options and flexibility for how the day unfolds. Together, we can choose the order of elements, the level of formality, and the pace. For vows, I’ll make sure you feel comfortable with both the legal words (a requirement) and your personal vows (if you choose to share them). Options include:

Repeating vows after me in short, simple phrases
Reading from a card I prepare for you
Quietly exchanging vows in a low voice with just your witnesses and myself present

There are many ways we can reduce the stress of public speaking, and ensure your commitment is honoured without creating unnecessary discomfort.

Grounding Through Positioning

Something as simple as where you stand can make a huge difference. I offer choices so you feel grounded and safe, whether that’s standing side-by-side, facing each other, or even sitting down for part of the ceremony. The goal is to make you feel supported and secure in the moment. We work this out together, and if we need to change things mid-ceremony it is not a problem. I always ensure my couples know we can flex things on the day to ensure the flow feels right for them.

Keeping Wedding Guest Engagement Calm

I structure your wedding guest involvement in ways that respect your comfort levels. Options include:

Silent applause or hand waves instead of loud cheering
Inviting guests to remain seated throughout the ceremony
Encouraging quiet presence instead of call-and-response moments

This ensures your ceremony stays calm while still involving your loved ones meaningfully.

Additional Ways I Support Neurodivergent Couples

Alongside these practical steps, I can also:

Provide clear timelines in advance so you know what to expect at every stage.
Offer a ceremony “run sheet” with visual prompts or icons if that helps reduce uncertainty.
Create a quiet arrival plan so you can settle in without being rushed or surrounded by guests straight away.
Check lighting and space ahead of time to avoid overwhelming brightness or crowded layouts.
Build in pause moments during the ceremony, giving you space to breathe and ground yourself.

A Ceremony That Feels Like You

Above all, I want your wedding to feel like a true reflection of who you are as a couple. Whether it’s a small elopement, an intimate micro-wedding, or a larger celebration with adjustments, I’ll work closely with you to make sure your ceremony is designed with care, inclusivity, and love.

Because your wedding day should never feel like you’re just “getting through it.” It should feel comfortable, and it should feel true to the two of you. For more ideas on how I can create a calm, centred ceremony for your wedding day get in touch, I am here to help.