Eloping with Kids: How to Include Your Children in Your Elopement or Micro-Wedding
Updated: Sep 1
If you're wondering whether an elopement still counts as an elopement when your children are there, the answer is absolutely yes.
An elopement doesn't have to mean just the two of you running away to get married. It can be a small, intentional wedding day that includes the people who matter most — and for many couples, that means their children. Whether you're a family of three, four, five or more, planning a blended family wedding, or simply want your children beside you when you make it official, an elopement can be a wonderfully relaxed way to celebrate becoming, or continuing to be, a family.
Including your kids does not complicate your day. More often than not, it makes it. Some of the most genuinely moving ceremonies I have conducted as a Gold Coast celebrant have had little ones right in the middle of it all, sometimes literally. A toddler carrying a ring pillow confused by all the cheering but focused on getting to their parents. A teenager doing a reading in their own words. A child making the pronouncement that their parents are officially married before carrying the microphone down to the beach to commentate on the waves. These moments carry a weight that no grand venue, no elaborate styling, and no guest list can replicate.
Eloping or having a micro-wedding with children works so beautifully because the atmosphere is already relaxed and intimate. There is no pressure to keep everyone entertained, no strict timeline to manage, and no expectation that small people will sit quietly for hours. Your children get to be genuinely present at one of the most important moments of your lives, not managed around it.
Ways to Include Your Children in your Elopement Ceremony
There are so many meaningful ways to weave your kids into your elopement or micro-wedding, and we can tailor every element to suit their age, personality, and comfort level. For children who are a bit older and comfortable around family and friends there are a number of different ideas. Here are a few:
Ring Bearer or Ring Security.
The classic role for a reason. Whether your little one carries a pillow with great solemnity or arrives in a wagon wearing a shirt that says Ring Security, it is always a highlight. For younger children who might get distracted, a small toy or treat tucked into the pillow never goes astray.
A Reading.
If your child is old enough and willing, having them read a short poem or a few lines that are meaningful to your family is a beautiful contribution. It does not have to be long. Even three or four lines delivered in a small, earnest voice will have everyone quietly undone.
Making the Pronouncement.
This is one of my favourite inclusions for older children, and one that couples are often surprised is possible. With my guidance, your child can be the one to officially announce that you are married. I support them through every word and the result is a moment nobody in attendance ever forgets.
Walking You Down the Aisle.
For blended families in particular, having children walk one or both parents to the ceremony spot is a powerful symbol of the family that is being formed, not just the couple who is being joined.
Family Vows.
Alongside your vows to each other, you can make a spoken promise directly to your children as part of the ceremony. A commitment to love them, show up for them, and build a life together as a family. I can help write these and the moment they are spoken can be an emotional peak of the day or a lovely ice breaker for nervous teens.
A Family Certificate.
I can incorporate a beautiful family certificate into your ceremony. Once you are officially married, your children are the very first people to sign it. Not witnesses, not a celebrant, your kids. It becomes a keepsake that belongs to the whole family, not just the couple. This is a non-legal certificate, created and personalised just for your family.
Unity Rituals.
A sand ceremony, where each family member pours a different colour sand into a shared vessel, is a favourite for families with multiple children. A unity candle, a planting ritual, or even a family knot tying ceremony are other options. These rituals are tangible, visual, and give children something active to participate in.
Witnesses. (over 18's only)
For older, adult children you may choose to have them be your official witnesses. The requirement is that they are aged over 18 years, understand English and are willing to sign the legal documents. This can be a wonderful way to recognise the new chapter of the blended family.
Including Younger Children & Babies
The best role for your child isn't necessarily the most traditional one. It should be the role that suits their age, personality and confidence.
Babies and toddlers
Parents often worry that their baby may disrupt things or detract from the day. Absolutely not. If you would like them there, we keep expectations very low, and flexible, that's not a bad thing. They might carry a flower, sit with a grandparent, arrive in a wagon or remote-control care or they might simply be cuddled throughout the ceremony. If they wander off, make a noise or decide they would rather investigate things than listen to your vows, that's part of family life and it is no problem at all. There is no need to make a toddler responsible for an important job if that is likely to create pressure, and there is no need to feel like the day must be perfect.
Preschool-aged children
This can be a wonderful age for active involvement.
They might carry the rings, scatter petals, help with a unity ritual, or make fingerprint on the family certificate. They can even be in charge of the bubble gun for your exit. Choose something they can succeed at without needing everything to go perfectly.
The best involvement is always the involvement that feels authentic to your family. The day is what feels true to you, and like life weddings are never perfect. They are real, authentic, true-to-you moments, so we lean into whatever makes the day memorable.
Planning an Elopement Around Your Children
The beauty of an elopement is that you have much more freedom than you would with a traditional wedding. Use it. You don't need to make children fit around a rigid wedding-day timetable. Instead, build the day around what is likely to work for your family.
Think about:
nap times and bedtimes for younger ones
food and snacks
sunscreen and hats
shade and water
toilets
somewhere quiet to take a break
travel time
how long children will realistically be comfortable participating
what happens before and after the ceremony
whether your chosen location is safe and accessible for little legs
do you have a dedicated person to look after them on the day
And don't feel that the ceremony needs to be the only “event”. You might have breakfast together beforehand, your ceremony in the afternoon, photographs afterwards and a special family dinner to finish the day.
Also consider services available to you as parents like event Babysitters and Children's Entertainers which are options for couples wanting a day that they can enjoy as adults knowing that the children are being well catered for. Or is there someone your child/children love who will be happy to be on 'duty' for your day? There are lots of different ways to structure the day to suit your whole family. It is yours to design.
A Note on Neuro-Aware and Sensory-Considerate Ceremonies
As an inclusive, neuro-aware Gold Coast celebrant, I design every ceremony with all kinds of people in mind, including children who might find loud environments, unexpected noises, or large crowds overwhelming. Elopements and micro-weddings are already a gentler environment than a traditional wedding, but I can go further. We can discuss the ceremony format in advance, keep things shorter if needed, build in natural pauses, or adjust the sensory elements of the day so every child present feels comfortable and genuinely included. Every family is different and I want your ceremony to work for yours.
Ready to Start Planning?
As a Gold Coast celebrant specialising in elopements and micro-weddings, I believe your whole family deserves to feel celebrated on your wedding day. Reach out for a free planning call and let us start figuring out what your perfect day looks like. You will also find my packages here, with a list of all the inclusions. To read more about the steps to get married click here to read my blog all about the legal requirements, and for more inspiration for Gold Coast locations go here.
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